These past few days have got to be the most annoying of any I've had. They're tapering my medicine down to a stop. On 11/24 thru Dec 4, I was supposed three a day, down from four. Then 3 and 2.
Time is passing so slowly. I am dwelling on words.
Dave
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
November 21st, 2011 A Week of Change
I hope to see some changes this week. The plan has been tweaked. I will now receive the full brain radiation instead of the "Steriotactic" focused tumor killer rays, at least at first. Despite the rumor, or misunderstanding, the Steriotactic radiation is not off the table nor have I been "removed" as a candidate for it. I didn't know this was an election. Everything is still on the table. The last radiation treatment is scheduled for December 6th when I'll get a CT Scan and/or MRI to see the results. Then, it is on to chemo and the Mack Truck crash every two or three weeks.
The change, I'm told, is that my steroid medication will be reduced and I will slowly be weaned off of it. It is much too powerful to continue. So, I get the impression that it will be cut by 1/4th or 1/2 about mid-week and gradually reduced over the next few weeks. This will apparently cause mood swings along with short-term memory loss. Apparently, the short-term memory loss is somewhat permanent, which sort of defies the definition of short-term memory. By definition, it means temporary. But, my equilibrium should return to an even keel. So, I may be walking around in the backyard in a circle, yelling at someone for drinking my coffee that I have in my hand!
I will continue Lasik until the end of my supply, another two weeks or so, to get the water under control.
The short term memory problem suggests I need to make a few lists:
1. Medicine schedule, with some means to adjust it as time passes.
2. Log ins and user id's to various things. I'm sure none of these are in long-term memory.
3. WayMar plan:
a. Move the home base to Indiana. (I don't recall that Indiana has a registration requirement at all).
b. De-register it in California; Secretary of State.
c. File last club tax return to Franchise Tax Board (next year).
d. Have Dan pack up the file and take it home with him.
e. Remove myself as an officer.
4. Don't leave the toaster plugged in.
5. Don't go upstairs to talk on the phone when there's a pot on the stove.
We've been eating our version of "quick" chili, five cans of Stags Steakhouse Chili, four cans of stewed tomatoes, one pound of the leanest browned ground beef, heated until hot. It looks like we're in for a treat perhaps tomorrow night; Manhattan Clam Chowder. Sounds good to me.
Today's buzz treatment lasted a few minutes longer, I think. I walked in at 10:10am, they strapped me down on my back with my head in a plastic holder and a tight fitting formed face mask that all snaps to an X-Ray table. It keeps my head perfectly still. They pull the machine over my head. A buzzing sound starts and blue lights appear behind my closed eyes. It lasts a minute or so, goes off, waits, and starts again for another minute or so. They unstrap me and I get up and leave. Zapped. There is no noticeable before or after effect.
Dave
The change, I'm told, is that my steroid medication will be reduced and I will slowly be weaned off of it. It is much too powerful to continue. So, I get the impression that it will be cut by 1/4th or 1/2 about mid-week and gradually reduced over the next few weeks. This will apparently cause mood swings along with short-term memory loss. Apparently, the short-term memory loss is somewhat permanent, which sort of defies the definition of short-term memory. By definition, it means temporary. But, my equilibrium should return to an even keel. So, I may be walking around in the backyard in a circle, yelling at someone for drinking my coffee that I have in my hand!
I will continue Lasik until the end of my supply, another two weeks or so, to get the water under control.
The short term memory problem suggests I need to make a few lists:
1. Medicine schedule, with some means to adjust it as time passes.
2. Log ins and user id's to various things. I'm sure none of these are in long-term memory.
3. WayMar plan:
a. Move the home base to Indiana. (I don't recall that Indiana has a registration requirement at all).
b. De-register it in California; Secretary of State.
c. File last club tax return to Franchise Tax Board (next year).
d. Have Dan pack up the file and take it home with him.
e. Remove myself as an officer.
4. Don't leave the toaster plugged in.
5. Don't go upstairs to talk on the phone when there's a pot on the stove.
We've been eating our version of "quick" chili, five cans of Stags Steakhouse Chili, four cans of stewed tomatoes, one pound of the leanest browned ground beef, heated until hot. It looks like we're in for a treat perhaps tomorrow night; Manhattan Clam Chowder. Sounds good to me.
Today's buzz treatment lasted a few minutes longer, I think. I walked in at 10:10am, they strapped me down on my back with my head in a plastic holder and a tight fitting formed face mask that all snaps to an X-Ray table. It keeps my head perfectly still. They pull the machine over my head. A buzzing sound starts and blue lights appear behind my closed eyes. It lasts a minute or so, goes off, waits, and starts again for another minute or so. They unstrap me and I get up and leave. Zapped. There is no noticeable before or after effect.
Dave
Thursday, November 17, 2011
November 17th, 2011 Day After The Verdict
Yesterday's Oncology visit brought us the verdict and the plan. I have stage four lung cancer that has traveled to the brain, and to my adrenal glands. All other organs, bones, lymph nodes, etc., are free and clear and I am otherwise healthy.
I have four tumors on my brain, the largest is a quarter sized tumor in the Cerebellum area causing the equilibrium imbalance. Two other dime-sized tumors and one BB sized are in various other places. These are the focus of the first part of the attack. I expect to get a call today from Radiation Therapy for immediately starting daily radiation treatments to target and kill these tumors. The targeted treatment will be followed by full brain radiation treatment. Total treatment to last two to three weeks. It is expected to succeed. I can expect temporary memory loss. This treatment will also allow me to stop taking the super-steroid drug I'm on.
After that, I will receive chemo treatments for the two lung tumors and the two adrenal gland tumors. These treatments may not be so successful. Remission is not expected. I got the impression that some level of holding can be attained for a period of time, perhaps years. The chemo will be administered once every three weeks to allow some recovery time between treatments. After that, I'll be monitored.
Comic relief comes with another pill, Lasix, to get rid of all of this water, about ten gallons (15 extra pounds). "You'll go a lot," he said. Well, yes, a day later and I can already see that. The problem is that "a lot" is a lot of trips and I would have preferred fewer trips. So, we're going to have a logistics problem of getting from A to B, quickly, when going to these treatments. I'm very likely to get very ornery if there's "Wal-Mart" stop or a "Macey's" stop along the way. This may get interesting!
My spirits are high and I feel fine. Looking forward to the morning and diners with friends and good company and cheer whenever it comes.
Dave
I have four tumors on my brain, the largest is a quarter sized tumor in the Cerebellum area causing the equilibrium imbalance. Two other dime-sized tumors and one BB sized are in various other places. These are the focus of the first part of the attack. I expect to get a call today from Radiation Therapy for immediately starting daily radiation treatments to target and kill these tumors. The targeted treatment will be followed by full brain radiation treatment. Total treatment to last two to three weeks. It is expected to succeed. I can expect temporary memory loss. This treatment will also allow me to stop taking the super-steroid drug I'm on.
After that, I will receive chemo treatments for the two lung tumors and the two adrenal gland tumors. These treatments may not be so successful. Remission is not expected. I got the impression that some level of holding can be attained for a period of time, perhaps years. The chemo will be administered once every three weeks to allow some recovery time between treatments. After that, I'll be monitored.
Comic relief comes with another pill, Lasix, to get rid of all of this water, about ten gallons (15 extra pounds). "You'll go a lot," he said. Well, yes, a day later and I can already see that. The problem is that "a lot" is a lot of trips and I would have preferred fewer trips. So, we're going to have a logistics problem of getting from A to B, quickly, when going to these treatments. I'm very likely to get very ornery if there's "Wal-Mart" stop or a "Macey's" stop along the way. This may get interesting!
My spirits are high and I feel fine. Looking forward to the morning and diners with friends and good company and cheer whenever it comes.
Dave
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
November 15th, 2011 Symptom Update
I can see that it's time for a symptom update, especially to get rid of those terms that are no longer true; "dizzy" and "seasick." Those two terms applied the last week of October when everything seemed to hit the fan, the inability to eat, upset stomach, and wobbly walk that finally led me to the doctor. So, please don't tell people I'm "dizzy" or having "dizzy spells."
What is happening is an "un-centered" feeling where I have to move my feet to center my stance or walk or I roll on my heel or ball of my feet to gain balance. I appears to be slightly progressing. I use my cane all through the house now. My feet are swollen (my softest socks hurt), too - water I suspect. I've cut salt intake to zilch, too. Going up the stairs is a problem and I now have to step one step at a time, with the cane, instead of a step-after-step climb because it is such an effort to do the latter. Damn, this came on fast! I'm going to bring up the swelling and climbing effort at the meeting tomorrow to see what they say. Perhaps a medicine adjustment is needed or something else is going on.
I'm still in good spirits, in spite of the attempted smothering. Maybe there's a pill for that too.
Looking forward to tomorrow and the next step. I'll be fine...
Dave
What is happening is an "un-centered" feeling where I have to move my feet to center my stance or walk or I roll on my heel or ball of my feet to gain balance. I appears to be slightly progressing. I use my cane all through the house now. My feet are swollen (my softest socks hurt), too - water I suspect. I've cut salt intake to zilch, too. Going up the stairs is a problem and I now have to step one step at a time, with the cane, instead of a step-after-step climb because it is such an effort to do the latter. Damn, this came on fast! I'm going to bring up the swelling and climbing effort at the meeting tomorrow to see what they say. Perhaps a medicine adjustment is needed or something else is going on.
I'm still in good spirits, in spite of the attempted smothering. Maybe there's a pill for that too.
Looking forward to tomorrow and the next step. I'll be fine...
Dave
Friday, November 11, 2011
November 11th, 2011 Update
The Oncology appointment has been moved to Wednesday, November 16th at 10:20am. The pathology hasn't had time to cook...
Dave
Dave
November 11th, 2011
The PET is over and I'm set for a good diner tonight with friends and a quiet weekend. The PET went fine, except for a small inconvenience. I didn't get as comfortable as I would have wished. Once on that table, and they put a small pillow over my brow to hold my head still, they ask me to raise my arms and place them on the pillow edges, then they placed a strap across my arms to help hold them. Well, it didn't exactly hold them in place. I had to keep them from slipping off the edge of the pillow - for about an hour. I caught myself tensing up a number of times during the time, so I couldn't really relax. But, that one is over.
But, I did have that juicy hamburger afterwards, and half of Chris'. I then proceeded to eat the leftover Chicken Alfredo the rest of the day. Goodness! If I'm not careful, I'm going to get fat. A fat Dave. Imagine that?
Bird update:
The Hummingbirds were out yesterday, the one, a female I think, wanting a drink from the feeder and the male rushing in to keep her away. I noticed that the sparrows get out of the way when the Hummers play, scattering in all directions. I also noticed that when the Hummers shoot through the apple tree, leaves fly in all directions. I'm getting the impression that they are not all that careful flying at full speed.
The other day before it rained, I caught out of the corner of my eye a larger bird plunge into one of the bowl pines, then caught sight of him jumping from limb to limb. He was a Red-Tailed Hawk, a fairly large bird. The doves scattered when he lit. He left in a minute or so, empty handed. The next day about noon when it was raining, I saw him dive in again, but didn't see where he went, and the doves scattered as before. Not seeing him move, I turned my back to our backyard. Later, after the sun came out and dried things off a little, I noticed downy dove feathers being blown about on the patio and a small pile of dove feathers on the lawn. He had scored a hit, apparently, and killed a dove in our backyard. He must have carried the dove off to his nest. Or, maybe it was a she.
Next appointment: Monday, 8:50am, with Oncology. The diagnostic results... and a plan.
Dave
But, I did have that juicy hamburger afterwards, and half of Chris'. I then proceeded to eat the leftover Chicken Alfredo the rest of the day. Goodness! If I'm not careful, I'm going to get fat. A fat Dave. Imagine that?
Bird update:
The Hummingbirds were out yesterday, the one, a female I think, wanting a drink from the feeder and the male rushing in to keep her away. I noticed that the sparrows get out of the way when the Hummers play, scattering in all directions. I also noticed that when the Hummers shoot through the apple tree, leaves fly in all directions. I'm getting the impression that they are not all that careful flying at full speed.
The other day before it rained, I caught out of the corner of my eye a larger bird plunge into one of the bowl pines, then caught sight of him jumping from limb to limb. He was a Red-Tailed Hawk, a fairly large bird. The doves scattered when he lit. He left in a minute or so, empty handed. The next day about noon when it was raining, I saw him dive in again, but didn't see where he went, and the doves scattered as before. Not seeing him move, I turned my back to our backyard. Later, after the sun came out and dried things off a little, I noticed downy dove feathers being blown about on the patio and a small pile of dove feathers on the lawn. He had scored a hit, apparently, and killed a dove in our backyard. He must have carried the dove off to his nest. Or, maybe it was a she.
Next appointment: Monday, 8:50am, with Oncology. The diagnostic results... and a plan.
Dave
Thursday, November 10, 2011
November 10th, 2011 The PET Scan
Up at 3:47. It's a little more reasonable time. But, it meant that if I'm going to have one cup of coffee before my 10:45 PET Scan and do that six hour fasting period, I'd better get hot. I had one cup, without sugar, or anything with the suffix "trose" or "dose" in it, straight black, and the deed was done.
It's turning out that, in spite of a previous post that I said I was regimented to a particular blend of coffee, we may like this unauthorized blend (how fine it was ground) we bought. Well, "I" didn't buy it. I'm just using "we" to suggest that I'm probably part of the problem, here.
But, the question now is: Just what blend did we buy? Apparently, that's not known. It is definitely a finer grind, very close to the consistency of powder. That could mean some Espresso blend, a much higher notch on the grinder. So, if we're going to buy the same blend again, we now go into trial and error mode. Hell, that could take all year!
I see the Odorous Ants are back. A little line leads to our sink this morning. Now, I can use sugar on them in my special mix of Ant Killer: Two cups of hot water, ten teaspoons of pure sugar and one teaspoon of Borax. Dab a napkin in it, and sit it on the trail. They'll disappear soon and be gone for a good long time. I don't think their Queen likes the stuff her workers bring her. Makes her sick, or die.
I'm glad I talked to Dan about the PET. He gave me a few good ideas. First, I need a scan from the top of my head to my thighs or so, because I have brain masses they need to see. Good idea. Apparently a typical scan doesn't start at the top, but about the eyes.
Next is the no sugars. Those little devil masses love sugar, apparently, and they soak it up. So, if I starve them for six or more hours, that radioactive-sugar-solution they put in my veins gravitates to them and lights them up so the scanner can see them better. Makes sense to me.
The PET itself will last 45 minutes to one hour during which I need to lay still. I can manage that. I just have to make sure that I don't have a bony elbow laying on cold metal or something that annoys me. So, I'm going to get as comfortable as possible and fall asleep. After the PET, I'm going to eat a juicy hamburger.
Tomorrow night Mo and Geo are paying us a visit and we're going to have steamed Tiger Prawns, soup and salad, a butter-garlic-lemon dip and perhaps a baked potato. Simple meal with plenty of companionship. What more is there?
I have to say that I've received so much encouragement and uplifting comments, that I'm beginning to think that it is those things that cures the soul. If you want depression medication, let friends give you a big dose of that. It's what we humans love most. I've even carried the thought to the point where I'm positive that I personally know two powerful Angels on Earth and, what's more, I can pose an undeniable argument that proves it. Ha! We were using the wrong definition of them, looking in all of the wrong places and using the wrong detection tools. You can't find them by trying to look directly at them, because like any invisible celestial body, you won't see them with the naked eye. Instead, look for the effect of their power, like we look for the gravitational pull of an invisible planet on a star. They're there. Thanks a bunch, friends.
I'll let you think about that for a day or two...
Dave
It's turning out that, in spite of a previous post that I said I was regimented to a particular blend of coffee, we may like this unauthorized blend (how fine it was ground) we bought. Well, "I" didn't buy it. I'm just using "we" to suggest that I'm probably part of the problem, here.
But, the question now is: Just what blend did we buy? Apparently, that's not known. It is definitely a finer grind, very close to the consistency of powder. That could mean some Espresso blend, a much higher notch on the grinder. So, if we're going to buy the same blend again, we now go into trial and error mode. Hell, that could take all year!
I see the Odorous Ants are back. A little line leads to our sink this morning. Now, I can use sugar on them in my special mix of Ant Killer: Two cups of hot water, ten teaspoons of pure sugar and one teaspoon of Borax. Dab a napkin in it, and sit it on the trail. They'll disappear soon and be gone for a good long time. I don't think their Queen likes the stuff her workers bring her. Makes her sick, or die.
I'm glad I talked to Dan about the PET. He gave me a few good ideas. First, I need a scan from the top of my head to my thighs or so, because I have brain masses they need to see. Good idea. Apparently a typical scan doesn't start at the top, but about the eyes.
Next is the no sugars. Those little devil masses love sugar, apparently, and they soak it up. So, if I starve them for six or more hours, that radioactive-sugar-solution they put in my veins gravitates to them and lights them up so the scanner can see them better. Makes sense to me.
The PET itself will last 45 minutes to one hour during which I need to lay still. I can manage that. I just have to make sure that I don't have a bony elbow laying on cold metal or something that annoys me. So, I'm going to get as comfortable as possible and fall asleep. After the PET, I'm going to eat a juicy hamburger.
Tomorrow night Mo and Geo are paying us a visit and we're going to have steamed Tiger Prawns, soup and salad, a butter-garlic-lemon dip and perhaps a baked potato. Simple meal with plenty of companionship. What more is there?
I have to say that I've received so much encouragement and uplifting comments, that I'm beginning to think that it is those things that cures the soul. If you want depression medication, let friends give you a big dose of that. It's what we humans love most. I've even carried the thought to the point where I'm positive that I personally know two powerful Angels on Earth and, what's more, I can pose an undeniable argument that proves it. Ha! We were using the wrong definition of them, looking in all of the wrong places and using the wrong detection tools. You can't find them by trying to look directly at them, because like any invisible celestial body, you won't see them with the naked eye. Instead, look for the effect of their power, like we look for the gravitational pull of an invisible planet on a star. They're there. Thanks a bunch, friends.
I'll let you think about that for a day or two...
Dave
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